WHEW.
I will be honest, calling myself a writer when I haven't had anything published is hard for me to do without nearly drowning in imposter syndrome. Maybe that's kind of the point of this post- me, trying to convince myself that I am. I spent my younger years wanting to be a writer, whatever that meant, and even majoring in Creative Writing at Rider University (until I transferred and the new school didn't have the major). Please, let's not discuss how much of a dead end major that feels like in 2024. It was the year 2000, and the world was still so shiny and bright. I promise you that "those were the days."
As for why I didn't end up going into any sort of career that would offer writing, that is simply the age-old story of life.
I did write a children’s book a couple years ago, did I ever share that? It was middle-grade fiction aimed at the 8-10 age group and was called The Mini Mystics Club. I never found a publisher or agent, but then again, I didn’t give my soul away looking either. I was so sure someone I sent it to would contact me. And some actually did…just nothing that ever panned out. Maybe it was the wrong time. Maybe it was the wrong book.
One weekend, while I was away writing, I pulled cards for the energy around the book and received "Kill Your Darlings" (from one of the Liminal decks). I was heartbroken. If you don't know, that term is used in writing as advice to let go of what you, the author, may hold dear but doesn't work best for the book. I was stunned the Universe sent such a direct and pointed writing message. And honestly, I was offended. But I couldn't see which "Darling" needed to be x'ed out. So, the book kept going, and I was none the wiser about what it lacked or held too much of.
It’s a weird feeling knowing you have spent hours, days, and months creating characters, their stories, and their relationships only to have it now sitting in a closet or computer hard drive collecting dust.
The Mini Mystics Club was my little piece of magick and was meant to be a series. I even created an oracle deck (and more) to go along with it. I loved the idea and potential it had to introduce younger people into the world of astrology, spellwork, and a coven. Even if it didn't get picked up, I was (and still am) so proud of myself for accomplishing it. Did I think it would be my Magnum Opus? Of course not. But it pushed me in those moments to connect with myself as a writer. Even though it turned out to be a breadcrumb that led to...well, nothing, it left me full of both pride and a big slice of humble pie.
And for those asking, yes, I did think of self-publishing...but I didn't.
One of my goals is to make the mystical more approachable and understandable. To take what can be overwhelming concepts and make them digestible for whomever is ready to learn. I love being a guide and teacher for others. And while the book may not have gotten off the ground to achieve that, I refuse to believe that was my only chance. So, I'll see you around on here... Writing for the sake of my soul and maybe helping guide yours along the way.